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WINNER!!!

Yay! I'm so excited to do this kind of stuff. I have a winner for the scraps bag and it's:

that bag looks adorable. love it. love love it

Posted by: sarah | May 02, 2008 at 11:45 PM

Sarah! Email me your address and I'll forward it to Jill so you two can discuss your fabulous scraps bag! And I realize my picture didn't show up so I'll have to take another one and repost! It's super cute! :)

Thanks for playing!

Relationships.

I'm not going to lie to you and say that because we're pastors, Adam and I never fight. We do. It's rare because truthfully, we just don't have that much to argue about. Plus, we've learned to choose our battles. I mean, why fight with him because he insists on leaving yesterday's clothes in a heap on the floor next to the bed? A heap that is hidden from the entrance of the room and therefore goes undetected until later on in the week when the heap becomes a pile which by then is out of control. I mean, why? Really? There's no point. Instead, I pick the clothes up, glaring at him, and chuck them the five feet away into the hamper. Typically I'll add a sarcastic dig like "Wow, that was hard."

But you see, I'm a grown up, so that one little dig is all I allow myself. (Very adult of me, no?)

Adam is a laid back personality. He's also the type of person who says whatever he thinks. This is why, in his sermons, he can get away with naming bodily functions and occasionally making sound effects into the microphone to support his case. (Why is it that fart noises always make kids laugh?) Anyway, the main thing we've learned is to communicate with each other. I guess that's why we don't fight very often. If I misinterpret something he's said or done, I ask for clarification. He does the same.

Most often, our misunderstandings with other people are the result of some sort of miscommunication. I interpret what you said the wrong way, and, being the adult I am, I swear never to be friends with you again, stomping my foot and crossing my arms with a "Hrumph." How silly. If I would get the courage to, instead, walk up to you and say "Hey, did you mean what I think you meant when you said..." then everything would turn out completely different. Odds are, I would realize that NO, of course you didn't mean what I thought you said the way I took it and oh my goodness, you are so sorry I took it that way... and then we'd go on living happily ever after. Blissful friends who can laugh about the time I thought you meant....when you said....

I read an article recently about restoring damaged friendships. It's easy to think in the back of your mind that it doesn't really matter, but the truth is - it does matter. You can convince yourself that it doesn't and tell yourself you're fine without that former friend, but are you really? Is there some sort of resentment building inside that could turn you into a bitter old person who shouts at kids to get off your lawn?

Anyway, the article's got me thinking. And I'm wondering how many of us - especially us young moms who can so easily delve into the world of our kids - are hurting over the loss of a friendship that ended as a result of a miscommunication? And then that sent my brain spiraling into the thought that we really need a forum at our church for young moms to come together and talk about stuff like this. And I've always been of the mindset that if God shows you a need, you're supposed to be the one to fill it. But I'm thinking I CAN'T TAKE ON ONE MORE THING! But my head is shouting "But we NEED this!"

ack!

So, I'm thinking about starting a bi-weekly something. Bible study, I guess, where we would have a book to follow and everyone would take a meeting where they would be responsible for the lesson. Then, I would only have to do the first one and I could pass it off on other people to do the others to help with the teaching/leading.

Obviously, this is all in the planning stages, but is this a dumb idea? I don't know. I may be off my bean.

I think I should just go pray for awhile and figure out what God's telling me. He must be saying something, right?

:)

By the way, you'll be pleased to know that Ethan in all his four year old glory has taken to wearing underwear again. Of course, this is the ONLY thing he's wearing, but it's a start right.

If it's not the underwear, it's the rediscovered Spider-Man Costume from Halloween. At least it isn't going to waste! :)

A note to the toymakers of America and A GIVEAWAY!

Not really a note. More like...a  request.

How about for a change we create toys that are NOISY but HAVE an OFF SWITCH?

How about instead of manufacturing the Speed Racer line of amazing Hot Wheels complete with random (and I do mean random) outbursts by the announcer's voice and car noises that could rival the Speedway at the other end of town, we manufacture the same toy with a silent mode? Or perhaps a simple off switch? How about when that vehicle finds its way into MY vehicle I am able to SHUT IT OFF to ensure that every time I hit a bump on the road it doesn't launch into the entire sequence yet one more time? How about that? A novel idea to be sure. Toys with off switches. Who woulda thunk it?

Said Speed Racing vehicle has now found its way underneath our stove and since I was smart enough to remove the batteries prior to at-home play, I think it might stay there awhile, serving its sentence for, oh, let's just say 'being annoying' - does that work?

Okay. I promised a giveaway. And I need to deliver.

This is absolutely the MOST adorable thing ever. A few weeks ago (Sorry it's taken me so long, Jill) - one of my creative and crafty blog readers sent me a link to her etsy shop. You can see it HERE. I love Etsy. I wish I was crafty enough to have my own shop. Anyway, this is a scraps bag, and Jill sent one to me. When I got it, I instantly started thinking of all the different ways I could use the thing. Plastic bag container is one that I'm seriously think of, but of course, I'll have to get another one because the one she sent me is perfect for scraps. The idea here is to keep those scraps you don't want to throw away in one neat little place until you can file them away into whatever system you're using.

You could use it for tools. Pens. Candy. lol (You can tell I'm on Weight Watchers, can't ya?)

Anyway.

Jill has generously offered to donate one of these fabulous bags to a winner of a drawing we're going to do on my blog! (How fun is that? It's like a carnival.)

Mine looks like this;

And the inside is laminated.

I love this bag. I want to re-do my new scrapbook room in these colors. :)

So. Here's the deal. Leave a comment to this post on or before next Wednesday, May 7th. Then I will select one lucky winner to get their own bag like this from jill, the crafty goddess!

Good luck! :)

And Happy weekend!

I miss them when we're gone...

This week we spent three days at the Willow Creek Conspire Conference, a conference (our first) just for Children's Ministry workers and pastors. Even though we drove back and forth and got to see our sleepy kids in the evenings, I still really missed them while we were gone.

At the same time, having three whole days of car rides and uninterrupted time to just reconnect with Adam and take in all of the information was invaluable. I met some amazing, inspiring people who are working this children's ministry thing out just like we are. I sat under the teaching of some phenomenal leaders - people who have amazing stories to tell and wonderful insights into this thing we're doing. People like Phil Vischer who is the creator of Veggie Tales and who has an amazing story to tell. People like Christine Yount Jones the editor of Children's Ministry Magazine, which has been an invaluable tool for us since we started about two years ago.

I feel fired up, but internally conflicted. See, the past year has been full of changes for us as a family and for me personally. I finished up my second book. In case you haven't seen the cover, let me just post it again because I love it so so much:

and as I said before, I had nothing to do with how cool it looks so I can brag about it and not feel like I'm being - you know - braggy.

Anyway... there was the book. We moved. We had another little bugger to add to our clan. This guy, remember him?

(The boy one, of course... the girl one has been around for a few years.)

And I've gotten really involved in some things that I really love. Memory Makers Magazine for one thing... working as a Contributing Editor for them is literally a dream come true for me.

So with all of these things going on and the whole being sure I don't miss little things like this:

tiny little feet sticking out of the blanket. Feet that melt my heart...

I carry on an internal struggle. How do I do everything God has put into my heart to do? Especially when you throw in CYT - Christian Youth Theatre, which Adam and I are happily bounding into with full force. I mean, what could be better than an organization that trains kids in theatre and music - the primary passions of our lives? You've got KIDS, THEATRE AND MUSIC... that's me and Adam to a T. Surely God wants us to dive in head first, right?

Please tell me you have the answers because I don't. How do I reconcile keeping my life in balance, doing God's will and still having time to sleep? How do I pursue personal and professional goals while still helping Adam with our ministry? How do I sit quietly and wait for God's voice to inspire and motivate me when everything around me is so loud that hearing HIS voice is getting harder and harder and harder?

About five months ago - maybe not quite so many - I started to know for sure God was changing something. He was up to something. He was telling me about one of the big dreams I've been holding onto, preparing to release me into pursuing that dream. I've been working towards that... I've been praying towards that...

...and then there are so many other things pulling my attention. What am I really supposed to pursue when I really love all of the things in front of me? How do you compartmentalize the day so you can tackle each one and not allow anything to suffer? Why is God silent in times you need him most?

So, I'm conflicted and inspired and motivated and tormented all at the same time. I'm a 'do it right' kind of girl. I am a rule follower. I don't like to do anything the wrong way and I most certainly never want to step out of God's perfect will for my life. Maybe I'm putting unnecessary pressure on myself, I don't know... I just know I can still feel Him at work, still feel things shifting... still feel myself asking hard questions and struggling to find the answers.

And all I can say is, "God, I'm Yours. Do with me what you will..."

I can't tell you on a blog entry how very much I got out of this conference and how insanely much we needed it. I can't explain the feeling of having my gas tank full of information that is both practical and easy to implement. I can't deny the excitement I have as we embark on a year with such wonderful tools at our fingertips.

And as always, I continue to pray God will be at the healm (or is it helm - seriously, if I'm going to keep using this analogy, I should look it up...AHA! According to Wikipedia, It's HELM: the entire steering apparatus of a ship - not to be confused with HE-LAM which is what Wikipedia, in all its wisdom thought I was trying to spell.) ha. Just goes to prove that good ol' Wikipedia isn't so smart after all. Or something.

Anyway, I continue to pray God is at the helm of our ship. And that's all I can ask... he'll steer us in the right direction. Not always out of choppy waters, sometimes right into the eye of the storm... but he's right there with us, manning the wheel and throwing us that life jacket when we get tossed overboard.

Pray for me as I wade through so much information. I feel like there are some important decisions in our future.

...and if you ever get a chance to go to a Willow Creek Conference in your specialty: go. If you have a CYT in your area, sign your kids up. Even the non-theatrical can benefit in self esteem and have so much fun.

Off to a b'day party! Happy Weekend!

Before you tell me what a bad mom I am...

Let me explain this:

First of all, I think it's hilarious. Look at Sam. He looks so tiny next to Ethan. lol

The truth is, I sorta staged this picture. On Thursdays, I go to Weight Watchers and this is Ethan's Wii day with Daddy. (Well, Wii hour and a half because that's about how long I'm gone for... one glorious scream-free hour and a half)... When I got home, Ethan was fully into Super Mario Kart Double Dash, so I decided to let him play a little longer. It's my suspicion that when Daddy's home Ethan doesn't REALLY get much playing time. So, there he was playing and there I was trying to calm Sam down when I remembered how much Sam loves being around Ethan. Truly, whenever Ethan enters the room and says one word to Sam, his whole face lights up. It's gotten to the point where it's making Sophia angry that Ethan always gets the smiles from their baby brother and in her mind, she never does.

Anyway, Sam was totally content once I set him down there - not for a real long time, but for a few minutes and I knew I needed to get a picture because it really does make me smile.

Oh, and for the record... Ethan hasn't played the Wii since, but he's greatly looking forward to Thursday morning! :)

I am not a big fan of video games. When we first got the dumb Wii, we made the mistake of letting Ethan's fervor for the games win over our best judgment. This cartoon really hit home around here...

We quickly noticed it was all Ethan wanted to do and bought him about four puzzles and forced him to go outside for some fresh air and dirt. (Ok, not really, it's been a very cold winter and we've all been cooped up for too long.) Both Ethan and Sophia just understand computers and games and technology without having anything explained to them. I'm sure it's the same in your house - it's second nature these days.

Anyway, I thought this moment was a cute one, in spite of my hatred for the games. Now we give him an allotted amount of time on Thursday and that's about it unless we're all playing as a family. It works for us.

Still, I don't suppose my telling you that Ethan has been wearing the same pants for three days would support my case that I'm not a bad mom, would it? I have to admit the fact that this means less laundry for me has crossed my mind... the truth is, he has developed this sort of independent streak and I actually think it's important for him because he's been up until this point a little bit, shall we say... wimpy? He has. I confess. I may have babied him a bit too much. Anyway, with this new found desire to dress himself comes a few battles that in my mind aren't worth fighting. So he gets out of the bath and puts on the same pants he wore yesterday... who am I to critcize?

Okay, today's bath will be a good chance for me to snatch the pants and put them in the wash before he even knows it. I'll definitely be doing that!

Anyway, Sophia is doing her SATs this week, which is why our get away has been postponed. We decided to go to Indianapolis. After much thought and a brief infatuation with the idea of driving 16 hours to find an ocean, we decided this year, a closer get away was a better idea. We're still going to be in the car for four hours, but our plan is to stay at a really cool fun hotel and take the kids to the Indianapolis Children's Museum and the Indianapolis Zoo (where, I read, you can actually swim with the dolphins. It's the only place in the Midwest you can do that. I don't know if I have the courage, but I really want to touch one!) :)

We're going later this month. Adam asked me what I wanted to do on vacation. We were planning so much according to what the kids would like, and I didn't really have an answer for him. The truth is, I guess I would want a little alone time. Yesterday when I was in the bathroom carrying on a conversation with Ethan who was on the other side of the door and refusing to wait until I was finished, it occurred to me I might not get enough of that. I don't think I'll get it on this trip, but maybe down the road. :)

Anyway, later this week I'm going to do a really COOL giveaway. I will probably be doing more because I'm setting up my new scrapbook room after the terrible news that we can't finish the basement for a year - they want to make sure they fix all the water problems and advised us to skip the finishing until after they were done. Wise move, I know. So, we're setting everything up in one of our front rooms. At the moment, it's a mess and maybe tomorrow I"ll have the energy to post about the grand fiasco of buying a new cabinet at Lowe's, but in the mean time, I am trying to get organized - purging the old things I know I can't use anymore and making room for everything.

I hope your week is going well! :)

get-away ideas... i need them!

I dont' know if I should go into all the mishaps of the weekend. The Heroic Boys Workshop was a smashing success on many levels. The hotel accommodations was not one of them.

Sigh.

Remember how I had everything figured out - all i's dotted... all t's crossed? And then the problems started almost instantly. From the second we got there til the second we left, it was one thing after another. Things I had specifically worked out with the sales and catering managers all went wrong. Seriously - where in the world is good customer service? I don't want to rehash the details though I'm considering rehashing them in a letter to whoever's in charge, but I think I'd rather not think about it.

I will say this: It was a weekend of conflict. I didn't let it go when they tried to push everything off on us. I stood up for myself. For that, I am proud. I overheard the restaurant manager going off about our group because we wanted to pay with one check. Well, it just so happened that's what the catering manager told me I could do. I asked the question specifically. So, I stood up for us. I told them my entire conversation with the manager and even said, "You know, if you're going to have three different people working on bringing a group in, maybe those people should communicate with each other."

I know. It was a little out of character for me. But when you're paying that much to bring a group in and doing that much business, the least they could do is what they said they would do.

Sigh. That's not the half of it. I witnessed their staff being downright rude to other guests in the pool area - it was just ugly. It made me feel yucky.

Thankfully, the boys had a blast and were completely unaware of the entire mess. Thankfully Adam was able to teach them a lot about respect and what it really means to be a hero. Thankfully though the devil might've pulled my attention away, the rest of them stayed on course.

My job was to bake cookies and make lunches... and sadly, to put out fires. But, it's over now. And while we have our Beautiful Girl Workshop (self esteem workshop for girls where we teach them God loves them and made them in HIS image...) I just can't bring myself to start dealing with another hotel. ugh.

Anyway. The worst part was, after all that mess (and I hate conflict)... we took the kids out to fly kites on Sunday. it was the perfect day for it. They ran, they jumped, they got outside. It was so nice after this long, long winter. Anyway, our church has a school and when the snow was melting, they blocked off the field to keep people from parking out there (because they park there for our Wednesday night stuff). It's not uncommon or forbidden to park out there, it was just too muddy and people were getting stuck.

Well, it's not muddy anymore, and Sam was asleep so we pulled our van out into the field where people usually are parking and we starting flying the kites.

Then this man comes along out of nowhere with his kid and their two kites. I'm thinking, "Oh, nice, another kite flyer... how fun!" That is, until he ignored my hello and moved on to Adam. He said,

Do you know whose van that is?

Adam: Yeah, it's mine?

Evil Kite flyer: Don't you think the private school put those barricades up for a reason?

Adam: Actually, I put those barricades up and that's my van, so I think it's okay.

Evil kite flyer: Dont' you think you're sending the wrong message then? Putting up the barricades and then driving out here?

Courtney who had had enough at this point: Don't you think you should leave us alone and let us fly our kites with our kids?

I know. It was uncalled for and completely un-Christian (Bridgette, don't think less of me. I had a bad weekend... and something came over me.) I should probably repent for my anger. ugh. I was too far away for the man to respond to me, though I almost wish he had. Adam and I looked at each other when he walked away... You've got to be kidding me... it's what our looks were both saying.

I wanted to tell the guy we happened to know that parking out there was actually okay. We worked for the place that owned the field. I mean, who was HE anyway? Someone looking to ruin someone's day off, I think.

Anyway. After all that, we came to a conclusion. We need a break. We haven't been on a vacation in a few years and while we don't have time right now to go far away for very long, we are going away for two or three nights. Here's the criteria:

• It should be within driving distance of Northern Illinois
• It should have a pool
• It should have a limited number of people (because while we're in ministry and we love people... we just need a break from them right now. )

We're thinking we'll go away and play board games and swim and watch movies and all that kind of stuff we can do at home but without the worry of laundry or the threat of the phone ringing.

I have been searching. Though about the Dells, but I just think the 'not having too many people' thing is too important to go there. Maybe. I'm still kicking it around. So, if anyone has any good recommendations for a resort somewhere closeby (Minnesota/Michigan/Indiana/Wisconsin/Illinois), please let me know!

In other, happier news... we had another Scarlet Lime kit. Again, Christy outdid herself. Seriously, this girl. I need her to come decorate my house and pick out my wardrobe. She just puts things together RIGHT. Here are my pages:

Seriously so blue. I can't figure out why everything has this blue hue. Please ignore. I am too tired to try and fix it.

That's my sister's little boy. I love that picture.

Sophia at her Thanksgiving feast at school. She was an indian.

My baby. I LOVE that background paper by SEI.

One of my all time favorite photos of Ethan rolling down the hill at my parents' house. I promise the papers aren't really crooked. I think I took the photo weird.

This one is really blue. I made it to tack on the bulletin board. It's just over 5x7 and it was a leftover photo from another layout. I had to make sure it was small because my nostril looks huge, but I like it because it really showcases the way Adam and I are together. He's always pulling pranks and I'm always trying not to laugh. :)

For more layouts by the other fabulous girls, go HERE. 

And just to prove the kite flying wasn't a total bust:

Yes, the photo is blurry. She was running and I had my zoom on. Whoops. But you can still see the joy. If only I could bottle up this kind of laughter (you seriously should've heard them) and sell it to people who were depressed...

If you haven't flown a kite lately, seriously, it's a sure fire happy-maker.

And it begs the question: why don't people play outside anymore?

:) Happy Tuesday!

Okay, I'm tired.

Adam and I are a great team. He's this great visionary with big ideas and I'm pretty good with details, deadlines, that sort of thing. So when we decided we needed a boys' weekend to complement our Beautiful Girl Workshop, I was concerned. I am, after all, not a boy. This means I could not GO on the retreat with the boys, I could merely plan it.

And plan I did. Boy, did I plan. I hooked our boys up with the COOLEST resort with an indoor waterpark and only about an hour away. Perfect. I set up the meeting rooms. I bought and packed lunches for tomorrow. I created packets for every boy and every leader. I designed and ordered tee shirts. I rocked it out.

And then came the day of truth. The day (today) when I put all 50 of the boys and leaders on series of vehicles, and like a caravan heading through the desert they headed off for the fabulous resort.

Let me back up. A few weeks ago when we decided to go with this resort, the woman I am dealing with gave me an alternative to the banquet menu which is astronomically priced. And seriously - what ten year old needs a breakfast buffet for $12? So this week I get my catering manager and he tells me there's no way her alternative will work and "I'm not sure why she would tell you that."

SIgh.

Okay. Plan B. Breakfast in a restaurant and I will buy and pack lunches. No big deal. They would still handle the pizza party tonight.

So, I"m feeling pretty good although I can tell by the frazzle in Adam's eye, he is not. See, somehow, I think I give him this odd sense of calm. It makes me feel good to realize it. That I make his life easier somehow. I guess that's sort of a goal or something. Anyway, I reassure him that he'll be fine and wave to the caravan as they leave. The boys are so excited, they're bouncing off the bus windows.

Fast forward an hour to the actual retreat where the pizza party has just started and already it's clear there's not enough pizza. And oh, by the way, two of the boys' folders are missing and did you remember to give everyone a pencil?

Sigh.

My balloon of pride has deflated and the pat on my back is now no more. I feel like such a failure. So, I took a break from baking 100 cookies to take up with me tomorrow to try and formulate a plan of attack for getting myself there and somehow saving the day when Adam calls me after the first session. Everything has somehow come together and the night is now PURE AWESOMENESS. it went really well and the boys were learning something. He felt effective.

My balloon started to inflate again just a little. This time not of pride but more of happiness. things were okay after all.

About five minutes ago he called again from his room where five boys - all about nine years old were holding their own WWF (or is it WWE now?) championship in the room. I feel so sorry for their neighbors. He said he's shutting it down at 10. We'll see.

Anyway, everything is going to work out in spite of my blunders, and somehow those boys are going to come back from the Heroic Boys Workshop with a little better understanding of what a hero is and how they can be one.

As for me, I guess my work here is done. I can't do anymore at this point but be sure to bring the cookies and the lunches. :) that, I can handle.

Hope your weekend is a good one!

Happy Birthday, Sophia

I'm posting late because today is my oldest child's seventh birthday. It hardly seems possible and yada yada yada... I mean, I could write all that. I could write about how quickly time flies and how I remember when she was just a wee babe in her diaper (or more often not, because she went through this wonderful streaking phase.) I could write about all the things I miss about those toddler years, like the way she couldn't say the word "girl." It always came out "gore." I could, but I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna because it'll make me sad - and frankly, I'm not big on feeling sad. So instead, I'll tell you all the cool things about Sophia. My birthday girl:

• I love that when I come into her room to pray for her and tuck her in, she's always ALWAYS reading. Usually Ramona Quimby or Judy Moody books. She reads them at the speed of light and tells me all about them when she's done. I love that.
• I love that today while I was doing just a half an hour of work, Ethan came into my office, his voice loud and serious: "Mommy! You've got mail!" I open up this little piece of paper to find the following: To: courtneycrops@msn.com From: softballgirl@msn.net (not her real address, just a variation on the address of one of our friends). I (heart) you so much your the best mom ever! Love, Your Secret Admierer. (The heart was actually a heart, not the word 'heart)
• I love that Sophia doesn't take herself too seriously
• I love that Sophia doesn't get her feelings hurt too easily
• I love how I now have this little helper to make everything easier
• I love to hear her sing - even when she goes off key. I love that now she's learning the national anthem and she thinks 'at the twilight's last gleaming' is 'at the starburst's last flying.'

There are MANY things I love about this girl. She is very special to me. Sometimes I think back on things that have hurt her in the past. It's rare, and I think she's had to grow a bit of a thick-skin, but in the end, it's good. She's better for it. Stronger.

This weekend, we took 14 kids to see "Horton Hears a Who." Seriously cute movie. The girls had a ton of fun. Our new theater has a party room, so afterwards, we dove in to this bad boy:

(Yes, I will be updating my weight loss blog on the mad crazy effects of birthday cake and how it can veer you uncontrollably off course with reckless abandon. The title of that post will be Birthday cake is from the devil.)

Sophia loved it. She has such a great class of little girls. They are all really good girls. I almost wish she could have the same class all the way through grade school.

After the party, we went to my parents' house to pick up Sam and to let Sophia open the presents from Grammy and Poppy. This was the big winner:

Yes, along with the webkinz, we are officially American Girl obsessed.

Overall, the weekend was a hit. We are all on the mend - no more strep throat. We're all almost done with our antibiotics. Sam is sleeping like a champ again (this morning he slept til 6:15!). We're back to normal. Thank God for my mom this weekend. She came up on Friday when I was feeling horrible. By the time she got there, I actually felt a little better, but it was so nice to be able to rest. (Thank you Mommy!) This shot is for her:

(Notice the onesie?) Sam is officially huge. He weighs almost 18 pounds and is really long. Everyone comments on how big he is. I love it. I love that he's solid! He absolutely makes us so happy. He LOVES to watch Ethan and Sophia play - and he really officially out loud laughs now. :) (Who can resist that sound - seriously!) The other cool thing about Sam is that he sucks his thumb. He has since we were in the hospital, but it's getting more pronounced now. I'm okay with it, honestly, I think it's adorable. :) (Don't tell me it'll ruin his teeth - can't it just be cute for now?)

Here's another one just because I love it:

And while I was taking these, Ethan was behind me making him smile. Of course, he needed to get in on the fun, so here he is in like, the most un-scrappable photo ever unless it's converted to black and white - I mean, look at  the colors and patterns on these clothes and blanket! lol He's hanging upside down on the beanbag here:

today was (finally) a good day for Ethan. I think with things going back to normal and Sophia going back to school, he was able to relax a little. He's been hard lately.

Anyway, I've got to run make bottles and veg out on the couch for a half an hour before that final feeding.

Have a great week!

So...

...Sam's eardrum ruptured.

I guess that accounts for his screaming, though it doesn't make it easier to listen to. He's had two good bouts of screaming today - both of which left me staring at him, lying in his car seat, little tongue waving as he got the last of his air out - wondering what in the world I could do to help him. I've given him Motrin and the antibiotic, but he still screams. And screams.

In spite of that, I have seen little glimpses of the baby I've gotten used to, big old smile with his hands perched up by his chin. I love it. Even when he doesn't feel good, he reminds me how blessed I am to have him in my life. :)

In other news...

I overheard something today that made it 100% certain my children are pastor's kids. Ethan and Sophia were playing in the living room and I was cleaning up the dinner dishes when I heard Sophia say, in reference to some shape she'd just created on the floor out of pillows or blankets or something:

"Hey! Look! It's a cross!"

Ethan: Yeah! It's a cross! And I'm Jesus! And I'm dying on the cross!

Then he paused for a second and the excitement was gone, replaced by an assuredness that can only be imitated - not described in words - "But it's okay, because I rise from the dead."

I bust out laughing because seriously - what four year old plays "Jesus Dying on the Cross"?

Anyway, spring break has been a lot of fun so far. I've planned a girls' movie night for tomorrow. Sophia and I, along with my awesome mom, my sister and her little girl are going to watch a movie (Enchanted) and eat something that I've yet to decide on. I am really looking forward to it.

Most of this break, my living room has looked like this:

Sophia in her nightgown. This was taken about 1 p.m. ha. This was not a fort (how dare you make that mistake!) It's a cave. And they are bears who hibernate and play with legos. and watch "Charlie and Lola." and play "Jesus dying on the cross."

Of course, once I brought the camera out, I got the "Take pictures of us doing silly faces, Mom!"

and I had to oblige:

I think Sophia's is especially silly. (Notice how Ethan has FOUR stickers on his shirt in case you forget who he is.) Then, they decided they wanted to take picture with the three of us. I of course thought this would be a nice picture... until they tackled me:

That was probably the highlight of my day. My day has been relatively wretched. The screaming. Oh, the screaming...

But, otherwise, things are good. I'm ignoring the sore throat coming on and the fact that I've got to weigh in in the morning (fear. see my weight loss blog if you really want to hear about my scale terror).

Best get the wee ones in bed. :) 

If you're not a spiritual person...

...best not read this post.

This is a post about my latest spiritual battle, and while I am not into preaching at people, this latest revelation is something I have to share.

I think I've posted on here about how bad things have been going lately. lol - that's uplifting, isn't it? But, it's true. Things have been terrible. To recap:

• Ethan had croupe, which nearly landed us in the ER in the middle of the night. He was barking his cough was so bad and he couldn't breathe. (Thank god for antibiotics!)
• Our basement flooded. (I don't want to rehash it. It was just ugly.)
• We are knee-deep in rehearsals for the Easter service, which is absolutely awesome, but seriously stressful at the same time
• Adam is still writing curriculum for Wednesday nights (I cannot begin to explain how time consuming and awesome this is at the same time. It's just amazing what he's doing...)
• Adam gets involved in Christian Youth Theatre (Wizard of Oz, he's intern directing to help get a foot in the door so in the future we can do some directing. It's AWESOME as well, but again, time consuming!)
• Easter Egg hunt cancelled due to snow. (This actually is a positive at this point - what a load off! Kids will get bags of candy Easter morning instead. I've never been so happy for snow!)
• Ethan and Sam are both up in the middle of the night crying. Ethan complains of an ear infection. Further inspection (by our doctor) and we discover a 'nasty and very painful' ear infection and a blister on his ear drum that we can expect to burst. More antibiotics.
• Adam cannot swallow. Another doctor. Strep throat. More antibiotics.
• Courtney is in excrutiating (how do you spell that?) pain - headaches. Or rather, one headache that has lasted nine days. Go to chiropractor for adjustment which loosens my shoulders and neck but doesn't help the head. The next day, head to dentist to see about a mouth guard because of my TMJ and grinding teeth.
• Get teeth cleaned (why does this hurt so bad?) and get impressions made of my upper and lower teeth. (Okay, seriously - ew. It was so gross.)
• Can't get mouth guard for another week. (I want to cry at this point.) Instead, I go to Wal-mart and get one of those sports mouth guards you boil. I should seriously take a picture with it in my mouth. It's hysterical. I look like a monkey.
• Sam gets sick.
• Sophia gets sick.
• Ethan is acting up horribly - seriously issues with his behavior leave me feeling like a new mom all over again, wondering how in the world to handle this?

This is about Thursday of last week... and it finally dawns on me. I went to our Easter rehearsals both Tues. and Thurs. and it was the only time in over a week I didn't have a headache - when I was in those rehearsals... it's so clear. And I should've seen it before, but this whole mess was all just one big fat attack of the Enemy on our family.

See, I hate to be one of those people who gives the devil credit for every little thing that goes wrong in our lives. Very often, it's my own stupidity or whatever that leads to the messes... but all of this... this big long, bulleted list of horrible awful things that were happening all at once... No way. This was not coincidence.

When we first started in the minstry, we had a similar week and one of the other pastors at the church said, "Well, you're in ministry now, you've got a target on your back." It's so true. Others have said, "If the devil's leaving you alone, you're not doing enough."

I guess I was looking at the Easter service as work. In terms of a checklist. "Gotta get this, this and this done by such and such a time..." You know... multi-tasking every little detail to make sure nothing slipped through the cracks.... but I forgot to look at it for what it was - a chance for God to move. I had underestimated what God wanted to do in that evening.

Once I realized it, I started to really pray like crazy - to get the devil off of our back. I mean, he doesn't have the RIGHT to torment us, he can only do it if we let him. I sent out an email to several of our parents and asked them to pray for us. We were at the end of our rope and we needed help climbing back up.

Well, it was almost like I felt them lifting us up. The next day, we all started to see improvements. My headache dwindled (and it wasn't due to the monkey mask, which honestly hurt more on my teeth than my head originally hurt.) and eventually it went away. Adam's strep started to improve, Ethan started to get back to normal...

And then Sunday night.

The kids were absolutely amazing. It was sort of a service infused with theatrical elements - dance/choir/human video - lots of music. Adam preached a short (awesome) message. It went off without a hitch. People came forward for prayer. People got to see how amazing their kids were. People were ministered to and blessed and you know, we may never know the extent of how deep that night reached - we may never hear the stories of how God began to work on someone as a result of that night, and that's okay. I trust that God will take our hard work and bless it.

I guess my point is this. Sometimes you have to walk through the fire to see the blessing. You dont' have to sit in the fire. I mean, when I realized what was going on, I got rid of that mess right away. Doesn't mean the devil will automatically stop trying to mess with us, but it does mean that I'm aware of it now. It all sounds so 'out there' - the devil and all... but I believe there's a very real enemy who would love to take us out. The thing is, we have to stand up for ourselves and tell him where to go. He doesn't have the RIGHT to attack us. And he certainly didn't stop us. For all our suffering, we came through it and God was glorified in spite of him.

Be aware of the fire, but don't let it consume you. Find out how to put it out.

and now things can go back to normal!